By: Alicia Whavers

I think Trump would make an AMAZING Napoleon. You know, Napoleon? The dictator? The one who caused the downfall of a community by his own devices, while steadily gaining power? I’m not talking about the guy from which the name of a complex was made. I’m talking about the pig from Orwell’s Animal Farm.

A reader though I am, I was never assigned Animal Farm during my education. So on my most recent trip to my library, I picked up this rather short novella and thought, “Hey, another classic that I haven’t read”. And boy, this was sort of the best time for me to decide to read this book.

Of course I knew the general premise of the fairy story, and I knew that allegory doesn’t even begin to cover it. I assume that when this story is assigned in a school setting, it is either brought up in either a type of Social Justice class, standard reading course where they discuss “the greats”, or something of that nature.

But all of them will talk about Stalinism, and the Soviet Union. Something separate from us (and by “us” I mean the United States, of which I am a part), and something that we frown upon, look down upon, abhor, loathe, hate, and above all…with not tolerate.

Yet, there seems to be a remarkable amount of people, Americans included, who not only tolerate Trump, but like him. Support him. Believe in him. Just like the pigs, horses, goats, sheep, ducks, geese, and chicken believed in Napoleon. If there was 1 thing that I truly appreciated about Orwell’s animals, it was the humanity that he instilled in them.

Yes you have Squealer the pig, the 9 vicious dogs, and the sheep who blindly follow behind Napoleon. But you have Boxer the hard working horse who truly believes that if he were to work hard enough, he could create a better Animal Farm for everyone by building the windmill. You have Muriel, who has doubts and suspicions, but is reassured every step of the way (mainly by Squealer) that conditions are better, and that she is not remembering everything correctly. You have the chickens who are told to sacrifice all their eggs, and who do it, believing that it is the right thing to do for the community.

And there are citizens out there, who truly believe if they work hard enough, if they make sacrifices (though Trump seems to be telling everyone that they won’t have to make any sacrifices in order to achieve their dreams) that they can make America Great Again. Isn’t that a lovely thought? That the common man can achieve his heart’s desire.

But all politicians (and I am using that term very loosely here) make that promise. What really made me believe that if someone (looking at you Netflix, HBO, Starz) were to do a version of Animal Farm, they should ask Donnie to voice Napoleon, is that both of them have this remarkable ability to blame other people for their own misfortune. And there are 1,000,000 ways I can go into detail on this, but I will specifically focus on what we will call, “the other”. And by “other”, I mean the term we have all used in school to define as someone apart from us, and often used as a common enemy.

(though sometimes he was extremely specific on who the enemy was)

Napoleon used Snowball. The same pig who helped raise the farm up, come up with ideas for improvements such as the windmill, and strategized a successful battle against the humans. The same pig who Napoleon later claimed fought for the humans during the battle, was the reason behind the destruction of the windmill and the failure of the crops.

Donnie uses immigrants…and very specific ones I might add. Ignore the fact that the overwhelming majority of this country is composed of immigrants, we outsource a lot of our jobs, and that we just love to celebrate other culture’s traditions (Cinco de Mayo anyone?).

But anyway, President Donald Trump makes immigrants and other countries into the other: they are to blame for the lack of jobs which is directly related to the lack of money, the reason why crime is the way it is, why we need to build a wall and have Mexico pay for it, and why we need to ban, I mean monitor the incoming flights from certain countries so closely.

Napoleon said that all that Snowball accomplished was all just a ruse, and that at the end of it was not really effective. Just like Obamacare isn’t effective and needs to be replaced, and how Obama bugged his house, and how Obama this and Obama that, and this that and the other.

So my long winded tirade is just to say, please please please, in this trend of remaking movies, if we will do re-remake of Animal Farm, consider Donald Trump for the character of Napoleon. I am sure he will get a kick out of doing the voiceover, and being  a motion-capture actor. He is never done it before, but just like he says he isn’t a politician, he will probably say he isn’t an actor, ask for reassurance, and every time he gets more than 3 words in a row out that happen to be correct, he will bring out kegs of beer for the entire cast and production team.